Thursday, July 14, 2016

My blog hiatus is OVER!

Hi guys! It’s Kristin here… I’m still alive and doing well, lol! It’s been nearly 4 months since my last post and there are a few reasons why. The first being that I completely filled 100% of the storage space on my MacBook. Yes, it is possible to do this, especially when you take as many pictures as me. I started having space issues in December and tried dealing with it by deleting unwanted pictures, which worked for a short while. Then in early April, I went to edit photos and my iPhoto wouldn’t even open. Fast-forward a month and I finally decided that I needed to take my computer in to the Genius Bar. I did this and the “genius” who helped me, deleted my entire iPhoto Library!!! I didn’t restart and discover this until I got home and when I called the Apple Store in a panic, they told me that this is why techs always require customers to take advised steps when working on their computers at the store and don’t actually put their hands on our computers. In other words, they told me that while they were sorry this happened, I was the one who deleted everything and it was not their fault. I tried explaining that I literally followed the steps exactly as they were given to me, which resulted in losing all of my pictures, but they didn’t really care. I was devastated, as in, I shed real tears more than a few times before giving up. I let another couple of weeks go by before deciding that there was no way in hell I was going to just allow 10 years of family photos (including all our wedding photos and every picture we ever took of Gracie) to just disappear without a fight, ha! I spent about a week on the phone with Apple Tech Support and after several phone consultations and one amazing tech rep, we recovered my pictures!

This whole ordeal left me in a state of total paranoia. Fearing that I could lose all of our memories again, I decided it was time to catch-up on our family photo albums and that’s what I’ve been doing for the past 2 months. I’ve caught up on making birthday albums for all of Gracie’s birthdays, years 1 through 4. I’ve made a big album of our trip to Disneyland and I’m up to 2014 on our annual family photo albums. These photo books are such a labor of love but soooo important to me, because for as many pictures as I take of this little family of ours, what’s the use if they spend the rest of time on a hard drive? I LOVE looking through the albums my mom made of our wonder years and I know Gracie will too, mostly because she’s already obsessed with them and asks to look at them, just about every week. :)

Aside from the picture drama keeping me away from blogland, our lives have been just way too busy. The kiddo has us occupied with activities 5-6 days a week and when we come home from gymnastics or dance class or swim school or preschool or whatever we’re doing that day – and then have to go through the dinner/bath time/bedtime routine, I can barely muster the strength to stare at my phone for 30 minutes before falling asleep. How you parents with more than one kid do it, I have no idea but just know that you are all super heroes in my book!

I really do miss having a job that allowed me some time to type up a quick blog post while working. I honestly didn’t realize that so many of the creative things I love to do, I did while on the clock at work in my previous position… With my current organization, I am the HR manager for 150+ employees. My department consists of 2 people and for several months it was just me, keeping it all together. Up until about a month ago, I was working 45+ hour weeks, while also taking calls in the evenings and working some weekends in order to stay caught up. It sucked and so I’m not doing that anymore. If I’m being totally transparent, I would have to say that while I feel fortunate to be gainfully employed, I am not happy where I work and I haven’t been happy since around the time I started. The organization is a hot mess. The turnover is unreal and they do not see the benefits in truly investing in their employees. I’ve been applying for other positions here and there but haven’t been too diligent because we’re also actively TTC with Georgia. I’m torn between wanting to be FMLA eligible so that I can be home with my family if/when G gets pregnant vs. wanting to get the hell out of here! Georgia has tried 5 times so far with a few breaks thrown in and every time we’re in a TWW I tell myself, if she’s pregnant I can hold out for 9 months and then I’ll find something new while on FMLA. But, so far, no BFP.

Our current experience TTC is like night and day in comparison to previous attempts. The main reason for this is that I’m not a crazed TTC maniac. I’m not forcing G to meditate, go to acupuncture several times a week, take a bunch of herbal supplements, us a ton of apps to track all of everything, or eat all those damn fertility foods like I did to myself when I was TTC. That whole experience changed me and showed me what little control we have over the process. I was so unhappy during that time that when I think back, I don’t even feel that was me going through all of those steps. Now we’re taking it a month at a time. When G wants to take a break, we take a break. She goes to acupuncture every other week, takes and prenatal and works on fitness using her Fitbit. We’re so chill about the whole thing that we’ve, at times not even realized it was an important cycle day until the evening. I feel that before, we were so consumed with making a baby that we weren’t truly appreciating the special moments we had with the baby we already made and that’s just crazy! Our focus is now on her and how blessed our life is as the parents of that little stinker. At the end of the day, when you’ve been at this for as long as we have (coming up on 3 years), you just kind of surrender to it and live your life for the family you have and not the family you wish to create.

In other news, my wife is a nut and is currently trying to convince me to TTC again… I never completely took that off the table but my options are also limited for financial reasons. My company has horrible health benefits and offers zero coverage for anything fertility related, so I would need to start a new job before trying again. I’ve asked that we continue to focus on getting G pregnant but in the meantime I’m working hard on weight loss and consistently dropping around 3 pounds every two weeks. I’m also taking my MTHFR meds and baby Aspirin daily, just in case.

There is so many other things going on that I will share SOON! We’ve been checking fun stuff off our Summer Bucket List for months now and I’m thinking that will be one massive post, all in one. We have a new pup named Mavie and her cuteness needs to be shared with anyone still out there reading because she is seriously the cutest! We’ve had lots of visitors, ended another school year and have gone on a whole bunch of adventures. I’ve had Gracie’s 4 year blog post in my drafts since early March, so I will share that soon as well.

It means so much to me that so many of you have messaged, Facebooked and left comments here asking that I end this blogging hiatus. It makes my heart happy to know that you’ve missed us and I’m excited to be back.  - K   

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