Grab a chair…this is a long one.
About a month ago, Georgia and I entered a new phase of our baby making journey – acupuncture. As most of our family knows, we’ve been busy trying to get pregnant for about 9 months now. I’m not counting the days and I don’t mean to keep record of the months either. For me, this blog has always been the story of our journey to parenthood and this is where we find ourselves today. As I mentioned in a previous post, the process of intrauterine insemination has its share of challenges. Despite this, we are both wholly aware of how blessed we are to be in a position to finance all that has gone into making this little one. Throughout this process, I’ve often thought about other gay and lesbian couples that are not as fortunate and are left with limited options when it comes to insemination, IVF, surrogacy and adoption. I truly do believe that where there is a will, there is a way and I sincerely hope that all couples who wish to become parents are able to find a way to make it happen.
Because of the limited supply of specimen for our chosen donor, Georgia and I decided from the beginning that if we were to get to our third attempt with no success, we would consider fertility meds. So two months ago, following our third negative test, we met with our fertility Doctor and decided to begin clomiphene (clomid). Clomiphene is in a class of medications called ovulatory stimulants. It works similarly to estrogen, a female hormone that causes eggs to develop in the ovaries and be released. Clomiphene comes as a tablet to take by mouth. It is usually taken once a day for 5 days, beginning on or about day 5 of the cycle. Our doctor warned that one of the few draw backs to this drug was that it could cause irritability and hot flashes. I decided to air on the side of caution and do all I could to be understanding, patient and…well, quiet during G’s five day med cycle. Little did I know that the side effects actually take place following the completion of the med cycle…not during. All I’m going to say is that we both survived and that I believe the experience, like all of our experiences – made us stronger.
Following our clomid cycle and 4th attempt, I think we were both pretty convinced that we would get a positive result. Unfortunately following our 4th try, we didn’t have the success we prayed we would have. Luckily, we got the news during the weekend of Halloween so we had plenty of friends and events to distract us. To be completely honest, there was a small dark cloud over the Roybal house for a few days but together we pulled through it. It’s funny, one of the questions I am often asked is “so are you guys going to switch to you now”? I’m never surprised or offended when I get this question because I realize that we are in fact two women with a surplus of baby making parts. I guess the best way I can think to answer is this – imagine for a moment that you and your husband decided to try and get pregnant. What would your reaction be if after 4 failed attempts at conception he told you, “well this doesn’t seem to be working so let’s move on to plan B and adopt”. I don’t know about the hypothetical husband in this scenario but that’s not a hasty decision I’m capable of making. G and I are both aware that there are limitations involved in our situation but we are still a few “bus stops” away from that station.
Right now, we are exploring the wonders of oriental reproductive medicine. We began this leg of our journey at the recommendation of our fertility Doctor and a few close friends. The treatment of fertility with acupuncture dates back 2000 years and has been found to dramatically improve the chances of becoming pregnant. Unfortunately, there are very few practitioners that specialize in the area of fertility in New Mexico, so we had to wait an additional 5 weeks just to get in. Georgia has gone twice a week for nearly a month and thus far some days are good…some days, not so good. Sadly, I’m not able to join her for these appointments because it is important that patients are in a state of complete relaxation during the procedure – and my voice tends to carry…
Regardless of how long some of my days are in waiting rooms, it always makes me feel better when my wife enters the room. For every appointment, despite what procedure Georgia has to go through (and many are not so comfortable) she always comes back to me with a hopeful smile on her face and in one moment, my strength is restored. I do have my moments of weakness and I do feel left out of the experience at times. I am after all in the baby making passenger seat, I’m the waiting room occupant and the one hanging on for ALL the details. I’m lucky that Georgia does all she can to include me in EVERYTHING. She answers all of my many, many, many questions. She sits patiently in every one of our Doctor appointments while I drill our Docs with my endless inquiries. She eats and drinks all the crazy health crap Dr. Oz tells me to feed her and she understands that in all of this, I’m not trying to be neurotic or overanxious…I’m just being me and we both just want a baby.
Thanks for everything you’re going through for us honey, love you so much.