When me and G started dating many moons ago, we wanted a group of lesbian friends so bad! It wasn’t that we didn’t have as many lesbian friends as we would have liked… it’s that we didn’t have a single one. To be honest, we still don’t have any that we’re close with. I know this may sound like the most random thing and you are likely asking yourself, why do you need gay lady friends and what’s wrong with palling around with straight friends?! That’s a good question – allow me to explain. First, we LOVE our heterosexual friends. So much so that the majority of people we are super close with have been in our lives for 20+ years. They’re great and we are lucky to have them. Having said that, we still long for that sense of community that seems to be missing when you don’t have close friends that can identify with your family and your experiences as a lesbian couple.
A few years back, Georgia and I threw a BYOL (Bring Your Own Lesbian) party. We thought it would be a great opportunity to meet lesbo couples living in NM and when the day came that we had kids, we would have other mom/mom families that we could join for play dates. Well… not a single lesbian came to our party. We ended up throwing a bash with all of our "fabulous" guy friends and it turned out to be a pretty great night. I think that’s when we made peace with the fact that we weren’t going to have the huge network of lesbian gal pals that we wanted and that it was ok if we didn’t.