Thursday, August 2, 2012

Freedom of speech or freedom to hate?

Unless you’ve been in a coma for the past several weeks, you are familiar with the Chick-fil-A controversy.  I have wanted to blog about this issue for some time but to be completely honest I have been too upset to put my feeling into words.  Yesterday my friend Anthony and I went to Chick-fil-A to show support for our Gay community on Chick-fil-A’s “Appreciation Day”.  On this “day of appreciation”, customers were asked to show their support of Chick-fil-A’s views on marriage in that it should only be between one man and one women.  They asked that their Christian patrons show that they, along with Chick-fil-A leaders, view marriage in the “biblical” or “traditional” sense.

I too am a Christian but I also know that there are many different types of Christians with beliefs that obviously differ drastically from my own. Although I understand this to be true, the fact that individuals would chose to use a religious platform to discriminate against an entire community of human beings is very hard for me to understand. It hurts me (and pisses me off) to know that the organization has donated millions of dollars to anti-gay groups and has used their corporate platform to say that my marriage is not a “real” or “traditional” marriage. It hurts to know that they are funding groups that argue that my family is not a “real family” and are working diligently to take away the few rights that we actually have. Chick-fil-A is very open about their opinions of the gay community and are also very open about who they give money to and why. This is why it was so heartbreaking for me to see the many, many cars lined up in support of Chick-fil-A yesterday. These individuals were asked to come out and support Chick-fil-A’s definition of family, which essentially leaves me, my wife and our beautiful baby girl out.

I stood there in the sun as cars drove by yelling things like “fag” at all of us as we peacefully stood in protest.  There was even a man who drove past and flipped us the middle finger while yelling “faggots” as loud as he possible could.  Oh and his son, who looked to be around 6 years old, was sitting right next to him as he cursed us.  I couldn’t help but ask myself – what is wrong with these people?  When did it become ok for churches to preach hate and discrimination in the name of GOD?  When did parents decide that this was an acceptable example to set for their children?  What the F is going on here?!  It took everything in me to stand tall and proud with my community but I did.  I did this for one very important reason and her name is Gracie.  I am her mother, I am her protector, I am her family and YES, our family is a family.

I sometimes let the doubt creep in and I fear that things are never going to change and that my daughter is going to grow up in a world that tells her that her moms are not really married, that her family is not equal to her friends’ families, and that there is something inherently wrong with us. This is why it broke my heart to see how many of my fellow New Mexican’s came out in support of Chick-fil-A yesterday and actually felt justified in sharing this corporation’s beliefs. These beliefs, after all, work to strip my family of our rights, exclude us from the benefits of legal marriage and send the message to all the world that we are second-class citizens. And worst of all, they say they are doing it in God’s name.

My family will continue to fight the good fight.  We will continue to stand up for our community and our rights.  We will continue to do this while people who call themselves “Christians” curse us.  We will continue to stand while religious leaders persecute us and we will continue to keep our heads up even though we are not treated as equals.  We will continue to do this because it is the right thing to do for ourselves and for our families.  

People need to wake up and realize that this is not a “freedom of speech” issue.  This is a human rights issue and WE ALL have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. 

Even if we’re gay.

11 comments:

  1. I completely aggree with your post!! Loved the line about "when did it become okay to discrimate in the name of God".
    I have been at a loss for my thoughts and feelings towards Chick Fil A and I really appreciated your post!!

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    1. Hi Shanna, I'm so glad you found our blog and thank you for your comment. I'm sure that yesterday was a very sad day for all of us. When you aren't a hateful person it is hard to understand hate. My hope is that the feelings of sadness and frustration that we all had yesterday will fuel us to get even more involved in the Gay Right Movement. I know that it has certainly done that for me.

      I look forward to following your road to motherhood. :)

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  2. Absolutely love this post and your voice. Thank you for your peaceful presence there yesterday, on behalf of those like me, often too enraged and overwhelmed to attempt to be at that location on that day. So sick of hearing about freedom of speech when our families don't have equal protection under the law. So sad to hear of the namecalling that you endured.

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    1. Hey Kari! Thank you for your comment. I think we all serve an important role in this effort whether you choose to protest, contribute behind the scenes or just live your life as a good person, showing others that we are just people like them. When the name-calling happens, as it has before, I always try to feel more compassion for the person spreading hate than anger. When someone is that unhappy what they’re really lacking in their life is love.

      We’re going to get our rights one day – I know it.

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  3. Well said. This issue has sparked a few fires close to home as well. My wife's sister posted on facebook, wish we had a chick fil a in our town. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME ! This is the same woman who we had as a guest in our house only weeks before. Who sat down and broke bread with us. Who loved on my kids and played games with us. THE SAME WOMAN WHO KISSED ANOTHER GIRL I might add....when she was a late teen. Give me a break.
    People kept spouting that it wasn't about hating gay people....it was about freedom of speech. I called bull shit on all of it.
    J posted that if you went to chick fil a to defriend her. Her born again Mormon sister didn't defriend her. hmmm.

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    1. That is wrong on so many levels. Poor J, is she doing ok? How can a person share all of their childhood experience with someone and love them and then do something hurtful like that?! I chose to drop a few FB “friends” yesterday. I’m sure some may think that’s a petty thing to do but honestly if you support an organization that is working to tear down my family you and I clearly have nothing in common and no longer need to communicate. I’m all about being friends with people who have different political views and religious beliefs than me, but if you support hate – you are no longer my friend. Tell J to keep her head up. You all seem to have a pretty great group of friends and a house full of beautiful kiddos. I say focus on that. :)

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  4. You go girl!

    It's amazing that "F you faggot" is seemingly acceptable in God's eyes. And that the guy who yells that thinks he's doing his Christian duty. Wow.

    Wish I could have been standing there with you.

    One day, sister, one day...

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    1. Yeah, it’s so sad. Looking on the bright side, the day ended with Gracie rolling over which made me forget all about the crazy “Christians”!

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  5. I have been actively avoiding the subject of Chick-Fil-A. Because I just don't understand what the hell is going on. I don't understand why its ok for someone to teach their kids to hate an entire group of people. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that your post brought me to tears and I am so glad that you are standing up for your family and ours. Unfortunately, I just can't put into words how I feel enough to blog about it.

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    1. I totally know how you feel. It took me a couple of days to gather my thoughts . Thanks for the link - I'll be sure to check it out.

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  6. As an addition, this guy really summed up my feelings the best way they could be summed up. http://matthewpaulturner.net/f1/5-reasons-why-the-church-failed-yesterday/

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Thanks so much for keeping up with our little family! We love reading your comments and will get back to you as soon as we can.

K+G+g+w ♥

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