Is officially underway! Our original plan for this, our second attempt to bring a beautiful baby into the world, has changed a few times in recent months. The first plan was to begin our TTC (trying to conceive) prep in January so that come March when Grace turned one, I would be ready for my first insemination. Well, as life would have it, the closer we got to March the more I realized I just wasn’t ready. I felt that Grace was still too little and to be completely honest, I was exhausted. All that went into celebrating baby girl’s birthday + the torture we were going through with teething + Gracie’s STTN finally getting under control + total craziness at work, left me feeling pulled in a hundred different directions and sooo not ready.
While I didn’t feel ready, I still felt panicked at the idea of waiting. I know that must sound like a contradiction but it took us nearly 3 YEARS to get Gracie here and I knew that if we decided to put TTC #2 off another year and it took us 3 years again, that would be a much larger age gap then either Georgia or I wanted. I actually felt pretty guilty about wanting to wait; like I was foiling our plan or something and in January when G began asking me questions about getting started I had to come clean that I wasn’t ready. I shared with her that the thought of acupuncture twice a week, doc appointments, fertility clinic visits, saving for maternity leave, diet changes, weight loss and everything else that comes along with TTC stressed me out. I think it stressed me out because I feel like it was just yesterday that we were doing all of these things to make Gracie. I also think it stressed me out because of my concerns with my PCOS.
Deep down I have some very real fears that I’m going to have issues conceiving due to my Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. While AF is now a very regular monthly visitor and I ovulate, dropping at least 20 more pounds is a must. I need to change my diet a bit and begin cutting wine and the occasional cigarette out completely. I’m also freaked because this would be my FIRST pregnancy and delivery. I know what it’s going to be like having gone through every step when Georgia carried our little gal, but it’s just different knowing that it will be ME physically experiencing it this time around. Yikes!
It’s amazing how much thought and planning go into conception for LGBT families and it can be quite overwhelming when you sit back and think of all that goes into creating a precious little life. The good part is I know I want this and I really am excited. The January deadline just scared me and I needed more time. In hindsight, I’m glad I took the time I needed. Now that I feel more centered, things at work are so much better and Gracie’s doing great, it’s GO TIME!
This past week we began the new patient process with our fertility clinic and they’re actually mailing me my new patient packet this week! We finally paid off the $650 balance at our sperm bank, out of state and saved enough money to have the 3 vials we’ve been storing there shipped to NM to join the other 5 vials we’re paying to store here. My new patient appointment/registration is in early May and it’s just crazy to think that things are finally underway!
Because we’ll begin inseminations around the July timeframe and because my lovely wife’s birthday is around the corner, we’re taking an early summer vacation this year. This month we’re heading out to Arizona to spend a week with my BF Sara, her husband Vince and their little girl Olivia who is just a few weeks older than Grace. I’m so looking forward to spending our days by their pool, watching the girls play and taking Grace on little adventures while we’re out there! This will be her second flight, so let’s hope it goes well!
So, I know this post has been all over the place but I’ll wrap things up with this adorable little video. I was finally able to catch Grace saying, “hi” and signing “water” on video! Baby girl usually signs, “water” with all three fingers but you get the idea. This video makes my heart so happy. :)