I can’t even believe that I’m writing this post and yet I am, and it’s true. I’ve been laid off at work and my last day is Friday, June 28th. You may remember reading a post I wrote a few weeks ago talking a bit about my work stress. At that time, all I was hearing were rumors of potential lay-offs but nothing concrete. Since then the rumors of downsizing have become reality and myself along with two of my employees and a good friend in another department are being let go.
The levels of sadness and worry that I’ve gone through recently have been, at times, unbearable. I’ve been with my organization for nearly 8 years and some of my dearest friends are people that I work with. One of my absolute best friends (and the person who married Georgia and I) is my boss who I am going to miss so very much. I met G at work and in the 7 years that we’ve been together, I’ve never known what it’s like to not work with her. I must admit that this is one of the things that makes me the saddest. People have often told me that it would drive them crazy to work with their spouse. For me, it’s been pretty great. It’s been all I’ve known.
The most difficult part of all of this is that our TTC#2 efforts are going to have to be put on hold for a while. I want to burst into tears just writing this but it is what it is. We’re pretty sure that G will be able to add me to her insurance but even with that being the case, I can’t really start a new job and then tell my new boss 3 months later that I’m expecting. I also wouldn’t be eligible for the leave I would need with a new baby for a full year, or so it seems to be the case with the companies I’ve looked into.
One of the greatest things about my job was that along with having awesome fertility benefits, adoption assistance and total LGBT support, it’s a very family friendly organization. This is the reason that I’ve stayed even with the instability of the company and the two previous rounds of layoffs that have happened in the past two years. To think that I stuck around for such a long time and worked my butt off only to be let go one month before what was going to be my first IUI, well, it’s pretty shitty.
I know my little family will get through this and we’ll be ok, but for now I’m sad, I’m stressed and I’m feeling angry. I do believe in the power of prayer and positive energy and I am definitely in need of both right now. Any prayers, positive thoughts or vibes that you can send our way would be so appreciated.
Must repeat daily.