Monday, November 4, 2013

“Go away!”

Yup, it’s happened.  Our daughter has begun to assert her need for alone time and I don’t like it one bit.  She told me to “go away” for the first time last week.  She was working on a big poop of the painful variety when it happened.  She typically prefers privacy while using the bathroom, which I do as well so I can’t blame the poor girl.  Well, on this day, she was having a hard time so I felt the need to at least hold her hand because it was breaking my heart to see her in pain.  As I approached, she held her tiny hand up at me in a STOP right there motion and said in the sternest voice, “GO AWAY”!  I couldn’t believe it.

My first reaction was to say, “excuse me”, to which she replied, “go away” again!  I backed off a bit to give her some space to do her thing but my feelings were hurt.  It’s so funny to even admit that my soon-to-be 20 month old hurt my feelings but she did, even though she obviously didn’t mean to.  She has told us to go away a few times since.  Once when I was attempting to stop her from climbing behind the couch and another time when G was trying to keep her from getting into something else.  I don’t even remember what it was. 

The irony in all of this is that as parents we try our best to teach our children about feelings.  We teach them new vocabulary everyday and how to best communicate and express themselves.  Then when they use those words to communicate to us just exactly how they are feeling, we’re shocked!  Especially when the feeling they are trying to express isn’t, I love you mama… it’s I need some alone time… 

We’ve tried explaining to Grace that there are other (more polite) ways to ask to be left alone but who are we kidding.  She’s not even two years old yet and just barely learning how to make these kinds of personal requests.  And even with that being the case, here’s the thing that baffles me.  G and I are in no way perfect parents but we also don’t tell each other to go away – ever.  I’m still trying to figure out where she learned it.  Who knows…  

I’m not really sure what to do if she keeps telling us to “go away” because while it’s not the worst thing to come out of a toddlers mouth, I still don’t like it.  I’m sure I’m overreacting but I would still like to hear from my fellow parents who have experienced similar situations.  Any tips?
   

6 comments:

  1. (sigh) If I could go back to the "go away" The first, "I hate you" and "you're the meanest/worst mom ever" is terrible. Although your sweet girl won't ever say that. :)

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    1. Haha! Yeah, I know I did most of those things as a young one. I told G, first it's go away and the next thing we know she's 14 and slamming her bedroom door...

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  2. Yup, been there....wait we are still there. It hurts. We taught Little Monster to say, "Excuse me" or "I need privacy." It took a while, but it is the politer version and we prefer it. We have also been knocking on his door (out of respect to privacy) for about a year now. Not only does it give him a sense of privacy and personal space but he now knows to knock on our door as well when it closed and trust me, that comes in handy sometimes ;)

    PS-Kris said she is in between projects when ever you get the head size and color choice decided for Gracie's hat :)

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    1. Growing up we always had to knock before going into my parents room but we weren't allowed to close our door that I can remember until we were older. Crazy to think that we'll soon be enforcing those kinds of rules too.

      I'm so excited for Gracie's hat!! I'm going to measure her head now and I'll send the info right over. Thank you guys so much. :)

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  3. Sometimes I've learned that the best way to handle behaviours that I don't like in the girls, is to ignore it entirely. Not sure if it would work in this situation though. When the girls say things that hurt me or others, I usually say something like, "Telling me to 'go away' makes me feel sad." I will then usually give them a more polite version, like Amanda said. I've tried to apply feelings to situations for a few months now. It has really worked because they've started telling me when they're happy, sad, hungry, tired, frustrated etc.

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    1. I'm trying to ignore it... Meaning I correct the behavior every other occurrence or so... I can't help myself. ;). Thank you for reminding me to use feeling words! I watched an episode of Oprah that talked about that once and it really seemed to work better than getting upset or just saying no.

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Thanks so much for keeping up with our little family! We love reading your comments and will get back to you as soon as we can.

K+G+g+w ♥

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