It’s hard not feeling a little bit jealous even when you are happy for an expecting mama. It’s hard not to feel sad that you’re not the one seeing those two lines. It’s hard not to compare yourself to other two mom families who are getting BFPs right and left. And it’s hard not to blame yourself for the fact that you’re not pregnant yet like everyone else seems to be.
I keep reminding myself that we’ve only been “trying” for 2 months but the truth is that we’ve really been trying for 10. For 10 months now I’ve been on a regime of pre-natal vitamins… I’ve been going to weekly acupuncture appointments… I’ve had more tests and ultrasounds than I can count… I’ve given more blood samples in the past several months than I probably have in my whole life and don’t even get me started on the fertility drugs. At times, they make me feel crazy, so that’s no fun. No fun at all.
It can be hard to focus on the positive but it’s so important that I try. It’s important that anyone TTC at least tries. As T. Roosevelt wrote in one of my favorite quotes, “Comparison is the thief of joy”. I’m choosing to hold on to my joy and my hope. I’m choosing to focus on the amazing things I have been blessed with and not the fact that I’m not one of the lucky ones yet. I will join them soon; I feel it in my heart. Hopefully, 3rd times a charm.
Baby dust to all my fellow TTC-ers out there. :)